Today I spoke to a great friend of mine, She's very wonderful and you are blessed if you know her, But I was saddened by our conversation. This was the mail I received with the news:
"his name is Chris, he's about 27ish, he has 2 brain tumors and it has all gotten quite bad recently. On Friday he was taken into hospital because he suddenly got really ill. They found out that the cancer has spread to his bone marrow and so they got it tested to see how bad it was. The doctors thought he was getting better on the weekend but he has still been getting even worse and they found out from the tests that it's spread too much for them to help anymore so they've transferred him to a better hospital but will no longer be treating him. The doctors don't think he will be able to last much longer."
My cry is for a change. that is all.
Please, please, wherever you are. Pray.
Thursday 20 March 2008
Friday 14 March 2008
unsettled
I've been thinking recently about September really not being far away, and that when September comes I'll be jetting off on a plane to the other side of the world to South Africa.
Today I've been feeling quite scared about going, however there isn't a doubt in my mind that I'll go. I know I'm going, and that I do need to go. How long I'll go for is yet to be determined, but there is no reason to set that in stone yet anyway.
However just whilst I put my Windows media player on random I have just been sitting in my room doing some work, and this song came one, I'm not sure where this song is from but its called "Set The World On Fire" by Britt Nicole. These are the lyrics :
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for you
It's everything that i desire
Can I be the one you use?
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hand.
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do
My hands my feet
My everything
My life, My love.
Lord, Use me
I wanna set the world on fire.
I wanna set the world on fire
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Gonna set the world on fire.
This was the best thing I could have heard at this time, at this time of feeling unsettled knowing I'm going out into the unknown on my own, without the comfort of having my own home, or having my mummy or Daddy about or being able to pop to Scotland to see my brother or run down stairs and see my sister.. but with my Lord there is NOTHING I cannot do, and realising that I am actually not going into the unknown alone, i have the best person walking next to me. holding my hand every step of the way.
I have had this unsettled feeling going on inside of the me since late January, I think it first came about because I spend eight amazing weeks with my best friend from South Africa and when she returned home it left me a little lost of where I was. I was missing South Africa but not knowing where I was meant to be, I knew that when I went to Cape Town I'd miss England, I couldn't win. And then I remembered that this is my temporary home, this world is temporary, so I won't ever be settled because I'm not staying here. This unsettled feeling is not the missing of South Africa or the missing of England when I'm away from it, but from wanting to make Heaven my dwelling my place. And when Heaven is my dwelling then my friends that is when I shall be settled. That is when I shall be Home.
These years of my life are just my Journey Home.
Today I've been feeling quite scared about going, however there isn't a doubt in my mind that I'll go. I know I'm going, and that I do need to go. How long I'll go for is yet to be determined, but there is no reason to set that in stone yet anyway.
However just whilst I put my Windows media player on random I have just been sitting in my room doing some work, and this song came one, I'm not sure where this song is from but its called "Set The World On Fire" by Britt Nicole. These are the lyrics :
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for you
It's everything that i desire
Can I be the one you use?
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hand.
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do
My hands my feet
My everything
My life, My love.
Lord, Use me
I wanna set the world on fire.
I wanna set the world on fire
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Gonna set the world on fire.
This was the best thing I could have heard at this time, at this time of feeling unsettled knowing I'm going out into the unknown on my own, without the comfort of having my own home, or having my mummy or Daddy about or being able to pop to Scotland to see my brother or run down stairs and see my sister.. but with my Lord there is NOTHING I cannot do, and realising that I am actually not going into the unknown alone, i have the best person walking next to me. holding my hand every step of the way.
I have had this unsettled feeling going on inside of the me since late January, I think it first came about because I spend eight amazing weeks with my best friend from South Africa and when she returned home it left me a little lost of where I was. I was missing South Africa but not knowing where I was meant to be, I knew that when I went to Cape Town I'd miss England, I couldn't win. And then I remembered that this is my temporary home, this world is temporary, so I won't ever be settled because I'm not staying here. This unsettled feeling is not the missing of South Africa or the missing of England when I'm away from it, but from wanting to make Heaven my dwelling my place. And when Heaven is my dwelling then my friends that is when I shall be settled. That is when I shall be Home.
These years of my life are just my Journey Home.
Wednesday 12 March 2008
I can't resist this love inside
I wrote a new song today called "I can't resist this love inside"
These are the lyrics
Another day without is impossible
with out you its so easy to slip away
Tell me what more can I do?
telling you just isn't enough
its the way I live that shows you that my love is real, my love is real.
I don't know why I can't resist this love inside
I can't resist this love inside
Take hold and don't let go
Let your heart be free
There you will find
we're always meant to be, we're always meant to be.
Lord turn my wrong to right please
that's what I'm praying
show me your love tonight
hear what I'm saying
I don't know why I can't resist this love inside
I can't resist this love inside
Take hold and don't let go
Let your heart be free
There you will find
we're always meant to be, we're always meant to be.
I found out what it takes to heal this heart of mine
is your loving embrace I feel,
Time after time.
Take Hold and don't let go
Let your heart be free
There you will find
We're always meant to be, we're always meant to be.
This song is something that has a lot of different things going on in it, but it really explained a lot of things of where I'm at.
I needed to write a song that was going to give hope, a song that was saying " Take hold and don't let go" telling people to just keep holding onto God, and when we reach him which we always can our hearts are free. In him we are free. and that it was incorporating my last post about being, and how that when we reach that place of being we find it's where we are always meant to be.
It's hard to explain exactly where this came from, considering it was written about a lot of different things with a lot of different emotions going through my head.
I hope to have the song recorded properly as soon as possible!
These are the lyrics
Another day without is impossible
with out you its so easy to slip away
Tell me what more can I do?
telling you just isn't enough
its the way I live that shows you that my love is real, my love is real.
I don't know why I can't resist this love inside
I can't resist this love inside
Take hold and don't let go
Let your heart be free
There you will find
we're always meant to be, we're always meant to be.
Lord turn my wrong to right please
that's what I'm praying
show me your love tonight
hear what I'm saying
I don't know why I can't resist this love inside
I can't resist this love inside
Take hold and don't let go
Let your heart be free
There you will find
we're always meant to be, we're always meant to be.
I found out what it takes to heal this heart of mine
is your loving embrace I feel,
Time after time.
Take Hold and don't let go
Let your heart be free
There you will find
We're always meant to be, we're always meant to be.
This song is something that has a lot of different things going on in it, but it really explained a lot of things of where I'm at.
I needed to write a song that was going to give hope, a song that was saying " Take hold and don't let go" telling people to just keep holding onto God, and when we reach him which we always can our hearts are free. In him we are free. and that it was incorporating my last post about being, and how that when we reach that place of being we find it's where we are always meant to be.
It's hard to explain exactly where this came from, considering it was written about a lot of different things with a lot of different emotions going through my head.
I hope to have the song recorded properly as soon as possible!
Thursday 6 March 2008
learning to be.
Today I started to learn an invaluable lesson, that which is Learning To Be. Learning that being in God's presence is enough, that's all he asks for me, that I may be still and know that he is God. And that i don't need to run myself dry trying to impress him, or anyone else for that matter, but learn to be. learn to be in his presence, be still, find him in the whisper.
God taught this to a friend who then taught me.
On last Saturday, two of my girlie friends had slept over, Naomi and Chrissy. We had done some amazing releasing of things on Friday night and spent some quality time with God and also had a lot of giggles, which included putting ridiculous make-up on each other and pulling silly faces for the camera. After getting to bed rather later, we woke up quite late the next morning and due to that I thought we'll have bacon rolls because it was more brunch time then breakfast. Due to eating the bacon rolls Chrissy had got some bacon stuck in her tooth and so asked me if I had any dental floss, my reply was it's in the bathroom downstairs (however if I was a good host I would have got it for her!) and Chrissy walked out my room, and the next thing i hear is a bang so i run out my room which is at the top of the stairs to find Chrissy falling down the stairs, whilst tryingt to grab on the rough beams on the side. When Chrissy finally reached the bottom, which seemed like hours later, I could see from the top of the stairs there was blood on her hands, and anyone who knows me, knows that me and blood don't go well together! I called Nay and realised Chrissy wasn't responding to me and needed me, with or without blood. I ran (carefully!) to the bottom of the stairs, to find she was half in reality half out of it, what does chartiy do in these circumstances she panics!! I ran to my mummy who then came to Chrissy.
To cut this part of the story a little shorter we phoned the ambulance and that resulted in Chrissy, Nay and myself spending over four hours in the hospital by Chrissy's side.
Chrissy has a track record of bad back problems, three herneated discs to be spercific and since then has been in a lot of pain which has resulted in her having to lie flat on her back. (getting to my point now..) The last five day's chrissy has been lying flat, trying to work out what to do with herself. And it dauned on her, God just so wanted to spend time with her, with her just being, so much that he needed to let her fall down the stairs in order for her to have to spend time with him.
she felt him in a totally new way today, in a way that was washing over her. She looked so beautiful today, not because of hair, make-up or clothes, but so stunning when she described her new encounter with God.
She learnt to be.
God taught this to a friend who then taught me.
On last Saturday, two of my girlie friends had slept over, Naomi and Chrissy. We had done some amazing releasing of things on Friday night and spent some quality time with God and also had a lot of giggles, which included putting ridiculous make-up on each other and pulling silly faces for the camera. After getting to bed rather later, we woke up quite late the next morning and due to that I thought we'll have bacon rolls because it was more brunch time then breakfast. Due to eating the bacon rolls Chrissy had got some bacon stuck in her tooth and so asked me if I had any dental floss, my reply was it's in the bathroom downstairs (however if I was a good host I would have got it for her!) and Chrissy walked out my room, and the next thing i hear is a bang so i run out my room which is at the top of the stairs to find Chrissy falling down the stairs, whilst tryingt to grab on the rough beams on the side. When Chrissy finally reached the bottom, which seemed like hours later, I could see from the top of the stairs there was blood on her hands, and anyone who knows me, knows that me and blood don't go well together! I called Nay and realised Chrissy wasn't responding to me and needed me, with or without blood. I ran (carefully!) to the bottom of the stairs, to find she was half in reality half out of it, what does chartiy do in these circumstances she panics!! I ran to my mummy who then came to Chrissy.
To cut this part of the story a little shorter we phoned the ambulance and that resulted in Chrissy, Nay and myself spending over four hours in the hospital by Chrissy's side.
Chrissy has a track record of bad back problems, three herneated discs to be spercific and since then has been in a lot of pain which has resulted in her having to lie flat on her back. (getting to my point now..) The last five day's chrissy has been lying flat, trying to work out what to do with herself. And it dauned on her, God just so wanted to spend time with her, with her just being, so much that he needed to let her fall down the stairs in order for her to have to spend time with him.
she felt him in a totally new way today, in a way that was washing over her. She looked so beautiful today, not because of hair, make-up or clothes, but so stunning when she described her new encounter with God.
She learnt to be.
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