Always being diffrent

As I've been drawing an end to my GCSE's (finally!) I've been actually a little more scared that I realised. Over the last 12 years I've been in some kind of education, it might have been formal or a little less formal, but either way education and schooling have taken the direction of my last 12 years of life. And now as i'm finishing them and walking into a new section in life it is really rather scary.
Most people now, do their GCSE's and then just follow on, onto college or an institute to learn a trade, however I never have been most people, and I've never really "fitted" in or just followed the crowd. This isn't something i'm boasting about or something I'm particulary proud about, this is something that is a rather lonely position, it takes alot more courage and it's really rather scary.

This next step in life for me, doesn't just involve college.. or more education, i'm branching off on another adventure. But the thing is, I don't actually know where this adventure is going. In september I'll be leaving to go to South Africa, if it's still a war zone, I'll still go because God has called me there and therefore under the wings of the almighty I shall rest, and I shall try my best not to fear (I don't promise to be any good at it!)

The thing is, I've realised this life is rather lonely, I don't mean lonely in a sense that I don't have many friends, or close loved ones, with them I am extremeley blessed, I have AMAZING parents, a wonderful Granny, the best brothers and sister I could EVER pray for, and some amazing amazing friends, of whom I am a better person and am changed for the better for knowing them, not the kind of lonely where you don't have a hugly busy social or just working diary, but a diary that is full of things that you realise aren't what everyone else does.

The truth is, I haven't really ever fitted in, I haven't really ever tried to, I don't REALLY want to, at the moment I'm in a battle with myself, I do want to fit in and every now and then it would be lovely to be "normal" and to live a normal life ( I know we can't define normal!) but the other half of me doesn't want to fit in, I don't want to do the normal thing and follow the crowd.

So when I go to South Africa I'm going to a complete mystery, I know don't know what I am doing, I don't know what I am walking into, and some may say I'm running into it with open arms and closed eyes, but even if that is what I am doing, then I'm running into it with open arms and closed eyes holding onto God's hand, and running with him.

There is no answer to this, and I can't ever fully win this because I'm only fighting myself.

A call to action - NOW!

Over two weeks ago now, Xenophobic attacks. Started in South Africa (xenophobia = an unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners or strangers or of that which is foreign or strange.)

Due to all the natural disaters that have happened in China and Berma these attacks have been slightly underlooked by the 1st world.However to me this is as real as anything, although I'm no longer living in South Africa many loved ones are, and many loved ones are living right in the townships where this cruel and inhumane acts are taking place.

My call to you today is not to feel guilty about sitting and living comfortable lives, because don't we all, and blessed we are, but my call to you is that your heart is moved and that you will PLEASE pray. Don't stop praying until this is over, this cannot and will not stop until the situation is completely put into Jesus' hands.

The truth is this attacks have started because people are starving, what's happening is that the goverment in south africa is letting alot of foreginers into the country due to the many problems within Zimbabwe and surrounding countries, and people are flocking into South Africa.South Africa if you don't already know is riddled with povery and extreme amounts of money. White people live in near enough mansions and black people live in carboard boxes, maybe a tin hut and if you're really lucky a shed not adaqute to put our tools in, and if they have been blessed with the money then a little house. The problem is there is extremes, MONEY and POVERTY nothing in between. The South African's that live in the townships have had enough of the foreginers coming into there land and taking there jobs, and are taking action about it, are the result are these attacks, and they way it happens is by "necklacing" people, putting a burning tire full of oil around someones neck and waiting for it to burn them to death.

I'm sorry if you're reading this and are horrifed, but I think it's time we got a wake up call to the states people have to live in, maybe it will move us enouh to pray for them.

Many churches in South Africa are creating escape places for refugees, they are hosting them within there church buildings and halls, In Hout Bay (where I used to live) and the church I used to attend called Hout Bay Church International (HBCI - an NCMI church) are providing accomodation for more than 200 people, and it's just not accomodation it's food, and nappies, and all the things 100's of baby's need. (the 200 people is excluding children)By the church helping these people they are too putting there lives on the line, they are exercising faith, trusting that God will protect them and laying their lives on the line for there brothers and sisters.PLEASE pray for the protection of all the leaders and volunteers of the churches that have pulled together in the communitys to help here brothers and sisters.

PLEASE pray for the foreigners who have NOwhere to go, everywhere is dangerous for them at the moment. and all the other people living in South Africa, no where is really safe at the moment.most of ALL PLEASE pray for the people who are commiting these acts, may God soften there hearts, may they seek forgivness, may Jesus become there provider.

This was only ment to be short, i do apologize, but please do pray.

Isaiah 61:

The spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me,because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,to proclaim freedom for the captivesand release from the darkness for the prisoners.

Thank you