Friday 14 March 2008

unsettled

I've been thinking recently about September really not being far away, and that when September comes I'll be jetting off on a plane to the other side of the world to South Africa.

Today I've been feeling quite scared about going, however there isn't a doubt in my mind that I'll go. I know I'm going, and that I do need to go. How long I'll go for is yet to be determined, but there is no reason to set that in stone yet anyway.
However just whilst I put my Windows media player on random I have just been sitting in my room doing some work, and this song came one, I'm not sure where this song is from but its called "Set The World On Fire" by Britt Nicole. These are the lyrics :

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for you
It's everything that i desire
Can I be the one you use?

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hand.

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do


My hands my feet
My everything
My life, My love.
Lord, Use me

I wanna set the world on fire.
I wanna set the world on fire

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with you
Nothing I can't do
Nothing I cannot do


I'm gonna set the world on fire
Gonna set the world on fire.

This was the best thing I could have heard at this time, at this time of feeling unsettled knowing I'm going out into the unknown on my own, without the comfort of having my own home, or having my mummy or Daddy about or being able to pop to Scotland to see my brother or run down stairs and see my sister.. but with my Lord there is NOTHING I cannot do, and realising that I am actually not going into the unknown alone, i have the best person walking next to me. holding my hand every step of the way.

I have had this unsettled feeling going on inside of the me since late January, I think it first came about because I spend eight amazing weeks with my best friend from South Africa and when she returned home it left me a little lost of where I was. I was missing South Africa but not knowing where I was meant to be, I knew that when I went to Cape Town I'd miss England, I couldn't win. And then I remembered that this is my temporary home, this world is temporary, so I won't ever be settled because I'm not staying here. This unsettled feeling is not the missing of South Africa or the missing of England when I'm away from it, but from wanting to make Heaven my dwelling my place. And when Heaven is my dwelling then my friends that is when I shall be settled. That is when I shall be Home.
These years of my life are just my Journey Home.

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